Dogged Determination

We are Survivors, not Sufferers!

The 'S word'.

When I was in University I would often start the essay by defining key words and or key theories in the first section. By beginning with definitions and explanations, it was easier for me to form a structure and it was also easier for Tutors to understand my line of thought. In today's post, my fellow Dyspraxics' I am going to define some key words, so that hopefully what I am trying to say will flow and make sense. I know what it is to feel isolated, awkward and misunderstood after all, I'm Dyspraxic, however, these issues are not directly associated with Dyspraxia; these issues are directly related to societies ignorance and lack of regard for Dyspraxia. I repeat Dyspraxia itself does not lead to isolation and awkwardness; it is societies' lack of understanding and regard that contributes to our feelings of isolation. It is up to us, my fellow Dyspraxics to inform our family, friends, work mates, spouses and society beyond the close few that we are Dyspraxic; not thick, not stupid and certainly not useless. Society is never going to understand Dyspraxia if we are ashamed and use it as a label to get out of our responsibilities. If we act useless people will believe we are useless and worse still we will start to believe we are useless. 

I remember a while back I needed to dismantle an old wardrobe has I had brought new furniture for my room and my mum said to me you cant dismantle the wardrobe, leave it for now. What was my response to that?  Did I say 'aye ok, ill leave it' or did I say 'Watch me?' If you guessed the latter you are correct. I dismantled the wardrobe, I broke nothing in the process and I did not get hurt.
It's all too convenient to fall in line with the 'I cant do it, I'm Dyspraxic' mind-set. After all why do a job when someone else can do it? But, in the long term this 'no wont do attitude' will become a 'no cant do attitude'. I acknowledge that just as no two people are the same, no two Dyspraxics are the same and that no one can do everything they put their hands to, why you ask? We are imperfect human beings; with weaknesses as well as strengths. However, once you narrow it down there is a choice between two attitudes we either try and try our very best or we dismiss it as being something we just cant possibly do because the Dyspraxia gets in the way. What attitude will you choose?

The words we use to describe ourselves penetrate our subconscious and we then believe and become them, a-self fulfilling prophecy. So as an Adult with Dyspraxia I have a sense of responsibility not only to myself but also to you, my fellow Dyspraxics', it is time to change the words.

Definitions

 

The two words we are going to look at are Sufferer and Survivor.

 

Sufferer

1. To feel pain or distress; sustain injury or harm: suffer from arthritis; made the people suffer for their disloyalty.

2.

a. To have a specified shortcoming or weakness: writing that suffers from poor organization.

b. To sustain a loss, setback, or decline in effectiveness; become worse: When morale drops, the company's performance suffers.

c. To appear at a disadvantage: "He suffers by comparison with his greater contemporary"

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sufferer, (2017)

Survivor

    

    1 A person that survives

2 A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/survivors, (2017)

There are a few factors to consider; first, there is an element of suffering and struggling within both definitions, (there is no getting away from it) even survivors struggle! Next, is that when we look at the word 'Sufferer' it is clear to see that a great deal of what we suffer is outside of our control. So surely,when we are dealing with things that we can influence and or change, shouldn't we do something about it?

An element of choice

I am in pain 24/7-being chronically ill this is not something I signed up for, however, what I can help and what I can control is how I react to being ill. Do I deny there is a problem and run myself ragged just to feel like a normal, healthy human being? ( Is there such thing as normal?) Or do I say this is what I have to deal with, and this is how I am going to deal with it? It is beyond my ability to cure myself of Fibre Myalgia, however, there are things that I can do to help me cope with it better. Such as planning, pacing, prioritising, trying different creams, hot showers, ( you name it, ill try it!)

Did you notice the second definition of survivor?  There was some key words I emboldened and underlined.

It clearly states ' A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks'.  This is a good quote because it highlights that survival is possible despite struggle and or suffering. But, ( you sensed there was a 'but' coming) this second definition also provides a challenge, placing an element of choice and responsibility on our shoulders; it is down to us to continue... 

Even with neurological conditions such as Dyspraxia; we can not blitz it away but we can do things to make living with Dyspraxia better. I would urge you, my fellow Dyspraxics' to consider your words, thoughts and actions carefully and to ask yourselves the question am I doing everything I can in order to live better alongside Dyspraxia? If the answer is no, then it's time to think about what you could be doing.

It's simple really, you have a choice to make. Are you a Dyspraxic sufferer - whose given up and has given in because it is easier ? Or are you a Dyspraxic Survivor, who, despite struggles has coping strategies and never gives up?