Diagnosis and beyond ..

        

What now?

So far you have been made aware of my difficulties and my diagnosis, but just to get back on track (yes sometimes we need to repeat ourselves); we were at the point whereby Dr Bibby asked have you ever heard of Dyspraxia? I shook my head. I couldn't even say it, never mind heard of it. The meaning behind the word never really sank in until sometime later.

Grief and Relief

Despite not truly knowing and understanding what Dyspraxia meant, I remember having mixed feelings. On one hand I was afraid because Dyspraxia meant 'different' you don't have to be a rocket scientist (even as a naïve child) to understand that different meant difficult. Let's face it life is hard enough without 'different' standing in the way. People often associate grief with death but  truth be told we can grieve who we once were before life happened. As an immature child I think, though I did not really understand Dyspraxia, I knew that my life was not going to pan out normally and so I was upset about something that I never really had in the first place. I have grown up since then and come to realise there is no such thing as 'normal'. The question is no longer why can't I be normal? It's more like who isn't abnormal? It took a long time for me to come to that conclusion. Relief was another overwhelming feeling. It was good to know that my 'awkwardness' (as I use to refer to it) was for a reason. I wasn't thick, just different.  Once that official diagnosis was in place the question was how am I going to handle it? And what next?  Well I am very grateful that my parents did not listen to the Educational Psychologist and went along with what I refer to as the 'SSS' which stands for 'simply slow statement'.  It is all too convenient  to speak without saying anything, which makes me wonder; how many other people have been let down by the system? 

Next

After having the assessment  with Mr Bibby; He wrote up my report and  sent it to my Form tutor, Headmaster and last but not least the school Educational Psychologist. The finding were discussed in great detail. The question was no longer what, but rather What next?  I was signed up for swimming and had physiotherapy in the hospital, as well as more one to one support in the classroom. This was all in the January before I started secondary school. I don't know about you my fellow Dyspraxics but the teenage years and beyond was an even bigger shock to the system then finding out that I was Dyspraxic in the first place !