A different perspective...

    Struggle produces good 

       

Points to Ponder 

          Apologies my fellow Dyspraxics, it has been a while. How have you been? And how are you coping with the summer. I personally love the sunshine, heat means less pain and the pain that remains is less intense. Sunshine beating down on me, with a slight breeze and fresh air all make life that bit more tolerable. On a day as beautiful and warm as today I would go as far as to say it makes life more pleasant. However, I know for some Dyspraxics this type of climate is too hot, stuffy, intense to cope with and for some Dyspraxics Autumn or even winter is most preferable.  It fascinates me how just as no two people are the same no two Dyspraxics are the, when I joined the Dyspraxia group in 2012, I was literally gobsmacked by how diverse and talented we Dyspraxics are. Janet Taylor comedian extraordinaire, who has the confidence and the quick whit to go on stage laugh at others and even laugh at herself whilst raising awareness of Dyspraxia. I would love to have Janet's confidence and skill. Then there was Ruth Emma Foley, never have I come across someone who can be so welcoming and so brutal. Ruth hates injustice and ignorance to the point where she has to say something, and she seems to do so without fear.  Acting as a mother hen to us Dyspraxics but also having the guts to speak up when wrong has been done. I love that about Ruth. There many other Dyspraxics in the group that not only demonstrate talent but also regard and decency for people. Now I don't know about you my fellow Dyspraxics? I will perhaps get shot down for this statement... but I have found that the most decent, caring and understanding people I have come across have not been the 'Ned and Norma Normal of society  but rather the ' Sidney and Suzie strange' of society.   Now before I get burned at the stake here, I am not so naïve to suggest all neuro-diverse people are saints and all neuro-typical  people are evil... of course not. We are all flawed in some way and no one is all good or all bad. 

 Digging a little deeper 

                                

                     When I was healthier then I currently am I use to do a great deal for the Christian Union in both secondary school and College, and I naively thought that I had friends that cared about me and that we would be friends for life, my gosh I couldn't have been any more wrong if I had tried. As time went on and my health deteriorated, I became less and less useful to my so-called friends, who slowly but surely disappeared from my life. You will find that your friends' your true friends will stick around even when your health has gone done the pan, they will stick around even when you are not with them as often as you would like to be. The Dyspraxia Foundation Manchester group has stuck by me through thick and thin, even when I could do little to nothing for them they have been and still continue to be there for me. I am so very grateful to them for their friendship.  Digging a little deeper; I have come to the conclusion that people often see your worth based on what you do for them. Even society asks  where we are working, how many hours, what car are we driving ? Are we paying taxes or on benefits? You get the idea. People seem to care far more about the material things then who we are and how we are. 

A little wiser 

                

           Older and a little wiser now, I realise the following; all people suffer and struggle; some have boulders thrown at them, for others they face a combination of boulders and pebbles and some people have a combination of boulders, rocks and pebbles. I have to be careful here, as the word all can be dangerous.  Also, its worth you considering the plus side to your difficulties. I remember having a row with my friends Pastor once because he was of the ignorant assumption that I had done something terribly wrong, and that fibro myalgia was God's way of punishing me. He even criticized the clothes I wore and the fact that I wasn't rolling in money. My response was as follows; I don't  know why I have Fibro Myalgia but there is good that can come out of it. For starters people who are hurting and suffering will find it far easier to talk and relate to me then they would you. As for materialistic things God really does not care. The person we are is of far more value not only to God but society and ourselves. Of course the guy was an idiot and so he continued to argue and misquote the bible, which meant I had to walk away. Energy is in such short supply I would rather not waste it on idiots!  

             I'm not so stupid to think all sick and or disabled people are loving and giving of course not. I'm not so daft to suggest that all Neuro-typicals are selfish and ignorant; that would make me a fool. But what I am saying is this, there most be a difference between those who are bitter and those who are better and even in things that are beyond our control there is always an element of choice. For example I have Fibro Myalgia which is beyond my control but what I can influence and alter is how I handle it. Should I give up on life, binge eat chocolate  and feel sorry for myself?  Or should I acknowledge it, learn about coping techniques and take one day at a time? 

             For a long time I have been bitter and angry about it because I wanted to 'normal' but only now at the age of 30 am I starting to realise 'normal' ( whatever that is) is out of my reach, but better then I was yesterday or the day before is good enough. It doesn't hurt to cry sometimes as its a release.  Dyspraxia in itself can make us feel awkward and no good but the truth is ( and we need to hold fast to this) that we are worth no more and no less then the next person. I can't knit hell, I can't even sow, but that doesn't really matter because I can give of myself in other ways and the same applies to you.

Society struggles to understand Dyspraxia because it doesn't live with it, but we as Dyspraxic Adults then have a duty to; explain it demonstrate what can be done to help us handle it better and last but not least show them that we are capable of great things. So, next time someone tries to belittle you because you are not keeping up with the Jones's just remember that struggle produces good.