The Dyspraxic Guide to House Work

Dyspraxia and it's impact on mental health 

It's Mental Health Awareness week 

This week (14th -20th may) is Mental Health Awareness week, so i felt it was only fitting to go off on a Dyspraxic tangent and write about something different. Apologies though, i only realised it was Mental Health Awareness week 3 day's ago. If you have read my other blog you would know  that it led to a rant! After all i think that more, much more needs to be done with regards mental health. So today i am going to discuss; what is good mental health, what is poor mental health, then i will explore how dyspraxia can have an impact on mental health. To conclude this post, i will describe coping techniques that may help some of you to cope with these difficulties more effectively. 

What is good mental health? 

    Whilst participating on a course the question "what is good mental health?" Popped up and we had ten minutes to discuss it and create a brain storm. Good mental health has a positive affect on all aspects of human growth, development and wellbeing.

Below are some of the examples that we came up with;

• The belief that you will get through a situation 
• Confidence 
• Being able to understand and relate to others 
• Being content in the present, whilst still having hope for the future. 
• Strength 
• A sense of control 
• Being fair and firm 
• Means being kind to yourself as well as others 
• It's not what happens to you, it is how you react to it. 
• Resilience

Are there anymore factors that you can think of that represent good mental health and wellbeing?  

What is poor mental health ? 

We also discussed what poor mental health looked like and believe me it paints a bleak picture. Poor mental health has a negative and often overwhelming impact on our health and well-being. As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, i found it far easier to brain storm what poor mental health is, in comparison to describing good mental health. Truth be told i believe that i have been suffering with anxiety and depression since i was a little girl. It is far easier to describe and explain the things that you live with, then to imagine and fully grasp things that you doubt you have experienced fully. I guess that's why we had to work in groups!

Here are some examples of poor mental health;

• Discontented 
• Confused, i.e. was i right or was i wrong? Were they right and/or were they wrong?
• Moods going up and down erratically 
• Feeling low all the time and not sure why? 
• What is the point?
• Finding it difficult to see the light 
• Being passive, aggressive 
• Feeling hopeless 
• Feeling helpless 
• difficulties understanding whats been said 
• cry at the drop of a hat 
• finding hard to sleep 
• finding it hard to wake up 
• Loose motivation to go about your day 
• over eating or forgetting to eat 
• using food and/or over spending as a comfort 
• Wanting to be alone 
• Wanting people to be around but not wanting  to talk to them 
• Lack of control 
• Irritability 
• Struggles to let go of and forgive people of their mistakes
• Struggles to forgive themselves 
• Lack of enjoyment 
• Always thinking about the future and never being in the moment 
• Always thinking the worst of people 

Dyspraxia and it's impact on our mental health? 

           As you can see there are more bullet points for poor mental health then there are for good mental health. There is a definite imbalance there, perhaps for you personally poor mental health looks very different to how it looks to me? I guess the  point I'm trying to make is just like no 2 people are the same, no 2 states of mind are exactly the same. 

Dyspraxia and it's impact on mental health, to an extent depends on how the individual sees it. Some see Dyspraxia as excuse to give up and not even try in the first place, others like to pretend that Dyspraxia doesn't exist therefore it's not a problem, and some acknowledge yes they have Dyspraxia and yes they have difficulties in various areas but they look for ways around those difficulties and focus their energies on what they can do rather then on what they struggle to do. Where the man goes the mind follows; so then the real question is not how dyspraxia impacts our mental health, but instead ask how does our view of Dyspraxia affect our mental health? 

      I'm trying to tread carefully here as i know that people have different experiences with regards Dyspraxia and bare in mind some readers maybe feeling low and are in a dark place right now which will influence how they feel about Dyspraxia at this present time. So please don't take offence, i dare say there are far more types of 'Dyspraxic adult out there'; it's just i couldn't think of anymore. Being that i don't know every Dyspraxic adult, how could i alone fully represent the diverse mind-sets? If dyspraxia is seen as negative and the individual keeps fighting against it rather then working with it, it can cause: stress, anxiety, depression, and a low-self esteem. 

    Speaking for myself  I'm fortunate enough to say that I'm glad I'm Dyspraxic. Dyspraxia made me a fighter, it made more determined and empathetic. Dyspraxia allows me to connect with people on a deeper, more meaningful level. I struggled with organisation, so i learnt from the pros and became organised. I struggled with timing so i always set off earlier. It's not a case of sunshine and lolly pops, i know dyspraxia can be a pain in the backside sometimes especially when you struggle with things that neuro-typical  Norman just takes for granted! I choose to see dyspraxia as a gift and how i live with it enables me to better cope with bigger difficulties. An educational psychologist Mike Carter once wrote me off as slow, and that i would always be slow. I'm here now because i proved him wrong and believe that regardless of how other people see, judge and misunderstand us, we are gifted in ways they couldn't believe. Besides truth be told, it's not important what other people think about who we are, it's far more important that we focus on who we are and who we can become! When i was first diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of ten i was determined that when i grow up i would never want anyone to feel as thick and as no good as i felt, and i made it my mission to be able to encourage people so that one day i could say to someone 'See, you can do it'. Ok ... granted i cant stop everyone feeling how i once felt, but i cant tell people that there is a better way. That even though it's difficult there are ways around it and you can do it! 

What can we do about it? 

                First we have to be honest with ourselves and consider the  question; what sort of Dyspraxic am ?  Am i raising myself up or am i knocking myself down? Then once you have figured the answer out to that question you can focus on what can be done to make things better.

Below are a list of therapies and /or personal development tasks that may help you on your journey; 

• Cognitive behavioural therapy 
• Give 110% 
• Art therapy (even if it is just sitting at home with a colouring book) 
• Occupational therapy 
• physiotherapy 
• Counselling 
• Confidence building courses 
• Be honest with yourself 
• Reflect frequently 
• Consider practising mindfulness 
• swimming 
• hypnotherapy 
• long walks 
• Reading personal development books such as 'The rules of life', 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. 
• Don't just read books but actually act upon what you have red
• Read books on Dyspraxia, such as; Dyspraxia in Adulthood and Dyspraxic Adults surviving in a none Dyspraxic world. It has a full chapter on emotional well-being. 
• Find out your preferred style of learning that will help you make tasks easier to accomplish 
• Befriend Dyspraxic adults and Neurotypical adults- yes, i realise its tempting to put yourself in a Dyspraxic snow globe but truth be told we need neuro-typical friends, just like they need us, after all we learn from each other!