Ch Ch Ch - changes
Ch Ch Ch - Changes
By Mary Morris
Hello my fellow Dyspraxics. How are you all? Are you about to embark on College or University? Or are you applying for a new job? Changes are coming!
You are all too talented and diverse for me to put you all under the category of the "change haters society'" but surely I'm not the only Dyspraxic Adult whose a member. I hate change as it is unpredictable, it moves you away from your comfort zone and often when your going through the process of change fears and doubts creep in and add to that already present feeling of vulnerability. ( I wonder how many of you often feel vulnerable?)
When it comes to change we have two options. We can either accept it and take it one step at a time,
or we can fight it all the way and act like it isn't happening. I have frequently chosen option 2 believing that it will work on my terms and there is no need for change in the first place. It will happen when I decide, when I feel like and when I am stronger... However, as we all know change is unavoidable. I have found that option 2 has made change more stressful, has contributed to increased frustration and pressure. When I have failed to turn the change around to make it work for me it has made me feel useless and hopeless ... after all, I am unable to avoid change and the consequences are exhausting.
Does anyone know exactly why some people with Dyspraxia hate change so much?? I am curious to know what you guys think. Option 1, (that's right) I'm talking about facing change head on, presents a challenge, however, along with being able to adapt to change comes responsibilities and rewards that can enrich our lives.
At present I am reading a book by Susan Jeffers, it's title is ' Feel the fear and do it anyway'. I will be honest with you guys, when I first started reading the book I thought, 'yeah. Whatever, she has had it easy'. After all she is a famous author, whose happily married and she is not in pain 24/7. I continued reading on only to find how ignorant am I. Yes Susan Jeffers is a famous author and an inspiration and yes she his happily married, but she has not had it easy. As Susan's self esteem was once through the floor and she has had to fight breast cancer. I was moved by what I read, as she explained how having cancer has brought about some good things such as a deeper bond with her husband and having had a mastectomy Susan and her husband decided to go on TV in order to relate to other people's suffering.
Susan's strength and outlook prompt many thoughts. First, if someone who is fighting cancer can have such a positive outlook on life and her situation, why cant I find the strength to see my situation in a positive light ? Which leads to the next point, what practical skills can I put in place to be of a stronger and happier mind set? Also, I realised that despite reputations and appearances no one and I mean no one has it easy. I'm still reading the book (so either fortunately or unfortunately for you I am a slow reader) I guess that depends on whether or not you like the blog! It has been discussed how the language we use subconsciously enforces negative messages. For example instead of saying "I hope I will get a job." We should instead say "when I get a job" There was a particular phrase that irritated Susan and that was "if only" which is a saying that takes the responsibility away from you and places it on someone else, and reinforces that you are powerless to change anything. Instead we should be acknowledging our part to play and say rather than "if only so and so had not of upset me, I would never have been in a bad mood". We should instead say " well I was upset and angry by what happened but I have learnt a few things... it was an opportunity". My fellow Dyspraxics what sort of language do you use? Is it positive or negative? Are you building yourself up or knocking yourself down? I challenge you to for a whole week see how using positive language changes the way you feel about yourself?
As I read through the book, I will continue to blog useful tips on how to deal with change. Will see you all again in Ch Ch -Changes Part 2!
At present I am reading a book by Susan Jeffers, it's title is ' Feel the fear and do it anyway'. I will be honest with you guys, when I first started reading the book I thought, 'yeah. Whatever, she has had it easy'. After all she is a famous author, whose happily married and she is not in pain 24/7. I continued reading on only to find how ignorant am I. Yes Susan Jeffers is a famous author and an inspiration and yes she his happily married, but she has not had it easy. As Susan's self esteem was once through the floor and she has had to fight breast cancer. I was moved by what I read, as she explained how having cancer has brought about some good things such as a deeper bond with her husband and having had a mastectomy Susan and her husband decided to go on TV in order to relate to other people's suffering.
Susan's strength and outlook prompt many thoughts. First, if someone who is fighting cancer can have such a positive outlook on life and her situation, why cant I find the strength to see my situation in a positive light ? Which leads to the next point, what practical skills can I put in place to be of a stronger and happier mind set? Also, I realised that despite reputations and appearances no one and I mean no one has it easy. I'm still reading the book (so either fortunately or unfortunately for you I am a slow reader) I guess that depends on whether or not you like the blog! It has been discussed how the language we use subconsciously enforces negative messages. For example instead of saying "I hope I will get a job." We should instead say "when I get a job" There was a particular phrase that irritated Susan and that was "if only" which is a saying that takes the responsibility away from you and places it on someone else, and reinforces that you are powerless to change anything. Instead we should be acknowledging our part to play and say rather than "if only so and so had not of upset me, I would never have been in a bad mood". We should instead say " well I was upset and angry by what happened but I have learnt a few things... it was an opportunity". My fellow Dyspraxics what sort of language do you use? Is it positive or negative? Are you building yourself up or knocking yourself down? I challenge you to for a whole week see how using positive language changes the way you feel about yourself?
As I read through the book, I will continue to blog useful tips on how to deal with change. Will see you all again in Ch Ch -Changes Part 2!
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