Dyspraxia and beyond, continued...

Know your Worth

The broken piece of jigsaw

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, the problem is it's never on time! The teenage years were no fun.  

I struggle to understand why some people say the teenage years were the best. Perhaps these lucky select few fit the profile and slotted comfortably in. However, in my case and perhaps the case of my fellow Dyspraxics, 11 upwards left me feeling like a piece of jigsaw that was missing a section and so because of this tiny, missing part I could not fit into the overall picture at all. What do people do with a broken piece of jigsaw that no longer fits ? That's right they either bin it or attempt to mend it. But what if that missing piece is lost? Then it is most definitely disposed of. I dare say that many young people with Dyspraxia felt the same way. 

Standing out like a sore thumb  

   

I was fat, spotty, a Christian, an eccentric and most of all a Dyspraxic.  I have mentioned these points so that readers will realise that yes young people accept or reject you based on obvious differences but also on differences that are not as clear to see.  Was even voted the second ugliest girl in my form group, Dyspraxia had its moments where it stood out i.e. when I had 25% extra time in exams or when I went flying through the corridor and when I lost a chunk of finger on the saw in the DT department!  But to those around me it was disregarded as my being 'thick' or 'backward' or simply put a 'freak'.  After all, what does Dyspraxia look like? It's not spotty, ginger, male or female; it just is and it manifests itself differently from one Dyspraxic to the next.

    Desperate to fit in and make some friends I started to hang around with some people who weren't actually particularly nice; people who were happy to embarrass me, and gossip about me. In some instances they actually got me into trouble with the tutors. It was during my third year in secondary school that I decided enough is enough, forget about tagging along with people who didn't want me there and forget about trying to fit in; perhaps we were never made to fit in, in the first place; and if we were able to fit comfortably into a picture whereby it is ok to belittle people and judge their worth based on whether or not they are wearing Rockport's and listening to Eminem and Lincoln Park,          ( rubbish in my opinion) then perhaps that  picture needs scrunching up and throwing out.                  A new Puzzle  should be built upon.

Lessons learned

If I could write to my 14 year old self I would tell Mary to start spending time in the library much earlier, and that being trendy is so very temporary and overrated. Being yourself; the fat, spotty, Christian who also happens to be Dyspraxic takes guts. After all, my fellow Dyspraxics are we meant to fit in? It is who we are and not what we look like and do that's important. Also, I came to realise that society in many ways like teenagers places our value on whether we are working, whether we are paying taxes, own a fancy car, are in a relationship and are able to go abroad multiple times in the year. You have to be thin, successful and very productive to carry much worth.

     Now as an adult who has recently turned 30 and has learnt a great deal along the way; I think we as adults can easily fall into that same trap again, especially in this political climate! Those who own businesses and work 60 hour weeks are valued at a far higher price then those who work part time and those who are unable to work full stop are regarded with judgement and contempt not only by the government but by the media with the likes of Katie Hopkins as its spokesperson. I am not sure which came first; the government's distain of people or the media that acts on what it assumes society likes? It is a heavy going topic beyond my grasp at present but to conclude this post I would like to say lets not fall into that trap again of trying to fit in, especially in a system that is corrupt. Dyspraxic adults also known as 'freaks and geeks' to none Dyspraxic folks are people who have masses of potential and can accomplish  great things, especially when they know their worth.