Frustration

How to handle frustration... 

The more you learn, the less you know 

I am currently sitting in my front room thinking about Dyspraxia and how it plays a part in who we are. The age old question springs to mind; does our character influence our Dyspraxia or is it our Dyspraxia that influences our character? It is a bit like the nature verses nurture debate..  I don't think we will ever get the answer to that question. But another line of thought springs to mind, we have ( i believe ) a responsibility as neuro-diverse adults, to open the eyes and minds of the 'neuro-typicals'', let's be honest they are disadvantaged! It is difficult for them to imagine and understand the complexities of our minds... Let's be honest, if we struggle to understand ourselves how can we expect others to understand?  I don't know about you my fellow Dyspraxics, but i have often found that when i get an answer to a question; i end up asking more questions as the answer has left food for thought which contributes to a degree of doubt and more questions! Frustration hey! (We're use to it  and we can handle it.) 

Highlighting the Hidden ( RECAP) 

In a previous blog 'Highlight the Hidden'  I talked about our responsibilities' as Dyspraxic Adults to be open and honest about our Dyspraxia. Ignorance was explained and i highlighted the importance of making information accessible to those who need to hear it.  Remember explain it like you are talking to a five year old! Media's such as 'You tube' and 'Facebook' to get the word out. After all no change means no change! 

Fighting frustrations 

Dyspraxia and Frustration seem to go hand in hand. But what is this complicated emotion that is frustration? Well according to Wikipedia.org (2017) 'frustration is a common emotional response to opposition related to anger, annoyance and disappointment, frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfilment of an individuals will or goal and is likely to increase when a will or goal is denied or blocked'. In other words if we struggle to complete a task and or achieve something we  become angry and perceive that God, fate, or mother nature ( depends on what you believe) is working against us. As mentioned above Dyspraxia and Frustration works hand in hand. We especially feel frustrated when we try and give our all to a task that challenges us and then someone else comes along and completes the task and seemingly with little to no effort. GRRR... it brings back memories just mentioning it. Anyway, point for you to ponder. Charles R. Swindoll (2018) states “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” In other words our response to the situations that crop up in our lives impacts us to a greater degree then the situation itself. 

       So how should we handle frustration?  Well if you are worked up it is probably for the  best that you walk away and take some deep breaths because if you stay put and stew on the frustration you are more then likely to say or do something that you will regret. Believe me i am aware that it is easy to type but not so easy to act upon. There are techniques such as box breathing; whereby you breathe in 2 and breathe out 2. Another method to consider is talking to someone you trust about what's triggered your frustrations and see if they can help you think about possible solutions. What i also find helpful is looking in my surroundings and focussing on one feature, then in my head i describe what i am looking at and state its uses whilst taking deep breaths. This has helped me in a few situations whereby i sensed a panic attack was about to strike. If you like to write it maybe worth you grabbing a pen and piece of paper and jotting down anything and everything that springs to mind. Do you have any hobbies that relax you? Hobbies such as Adult colouring books, 5-D painting, sowing, reading, going out for a walk and or spending time with pets. You could also write a letter... Don't laugh but you can write a letter to yourself stating what has frustrated you, why has it frustrated you and what can you do about it? However, if you do write yourself a letter don't write negatively be kind to yourself. You could even write a letter to someone who you have frustrated explaining that it was not intentional, you have Dyspraxia that it is not an excuse but rather a genuine reason for some of your difficulties and then you could ( if you want to ) write about positive ways in which you are trying to handle Dyspraxia. 

             We are Dyspraxic not thick. We are gifted not hopeless and we are creative, resourceful and sincere. Despite how we often feel about ourselves, we actually have a lot to contribute.  Mindfulness is another way in which people can handle overwhelming emotions, that maybe worth you looking into. I have not gone into much detail with regards mindfulness because i don't know much about it. I have a policy whereby if i do not know much about a subject i will not write about it! However, i am going to research mindfulness at some point in order to understand it... so bear with me! Once i have got to grips with it, i will share my findings with you.

Remember life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.