Aim high
Intro
Hello my fellow Dyspraxics' in today's blog I am going to discuss why we should aim high as oppose to lowering our aims. I don't know why but some ignorant people (sorry I should rephrase that), some ignorant Dyspraxics' are of the opinion that we should lower our aims in order to achieve them. This belief I find alarming beyond belief. And what shocks me more then this belief is the fact that there are Dyspraxic adults' who actually go out of their way to promote this idle and irresponsible way of thinking and dealing with Dyspraxia.
Why irresponsible ?
I am not unrealistic and I realise that no one can be perfect at all tasks they put their hand too. Growing up in this none Dyspraxic world I have observed that human nature appears to operate in extremes; we eat too much, we eat too little, we're passive then were aggressive and why either aim to low ( which is as bad as not trying at all) or we try too hard which sets us up for failure. So even in the above extremes the results are the same; our health deteriorates, our relationships struggle and in not trying or trying too hard our self -esteem is reduced. It would be irresponsible of me to say to you that you can do anything you want and we are all good at everything we put our hands too. Of course we aren't good at everything we do; we're human not perfect!
Perhaps I can give you an example of what I mean. When I was in secondary school, for whatever reason I decided I wanted to be a teacher ( God knows where that idea came from!) But maths was proving a problem. To be a teacher you need a GCSE grade C in maths and I left secondary school with a G. So my grand, ultimate unrealistic aim was to get a C in maths, after four of challenging years of GCSE maths in college the highest grade I obtained was an E'. Looking back now I was lucky to have improved even to that standard, as I found out when I went to university that I have Dyscalculia and pretty severely too. The ironic thing is that when I was in college I changed my mind about being a teacher... sod's law. I guess, truth be told I did not really know what I wanted to be. However, it was not a complete waste of time as I was able to improve my maths know how all be it marginally, it is still an improvement.
It is irresponsible encouraging Dyspraxics to aim low because that promotes giving 10% rather then giving 110%, call me old fashioned but if you have to do something, surely it is better to do it right? If Dyspraxics aim low and only give 10% they would never truly realise their own potential. There is an old saying that state states ' it is better to aim high and miss rather then aim low and hit'. You see if you aim high and miss, you realise you can try again and are more likely to hit, whereas if you aim low and hit, perhaps you are easily satisfied? And you will never know your true potential and what you are made of. I have had many negative words spoken to me, where by I was expected to just fall in line with them... WRONG!!! People have their opinions and they are entitled to their views, however, this does not mean that we are entitled to live according to the standards they set. In fact we can surpass their ideas and create a higher standard that suits us, after all who knows your potential best? Your family, your friends or you, yourself?
Aiming high (realistically and honestly!)
It is important when we have high aims to think honestly and seriously about; what we are aiming for? What are the factors that push me closer to my aims? What are the factors that pull me away from my aims? What are the barriers and how can I overcome them? For me personally it helps me being able to reflect on what has occurred and then writing it down. You can write in diary format or simple bullet points as I do for slimming world. I have also observed from my experiences of aiming unrealistically high you are, more often then not doomed for failure, and this can often deter us from trying again. Being kind to yourself is also important, realising 1; you are only human and 2; honesty is the best policy. If you are dishonest with yourself not only will you feel bad for letting yourself down, but if this unrealistic attitude persists, it will slowly but surely deteriorate your self esteem and last but not least... practise, practise and practise again. Very few people can perfect a task (down to a t) on the first, second and in some cases third and fourth, fifth attempts etc.
In fact even when we have carried out a task a thousand times there is still room for mistakes, which when you think about it leaves room for growth. My final, (final) point is that you should never consider yourself an expert. This is not me being negative, allow me to explain. Once we have decided that we are experts, our brain automatically cuts off from any suggestions for improvement. Yes we know ourselves better then outsiders do, but that is not to say we are beyond learning. Learning is an ongoing experience, so if we take ourselves outside of it, it means our growth and development is stunted. It is up to us what we listen to and it is up to us if and how we apply what we have heard. Beware though, ( to quote my dad) you don't need to stick you're head over the bin to smell the rubbish!
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