Myth busting !

Dyspraxia separating fact from fiction

Part 2

Recap

The first myth that we have began to explore is that of disappearing Dyspraxia. That once you have hit the age of 13 or 14 magically disappears never to been seen again. We have also looked at all aspects of human growth and development aka P.I.ES. Thinking about it now, I perhaps should have split the answer up into three subsections, as there is a huge gap between 13 and 30 not to mention all the changes that occur before during and after. But for now I will stick with my original line of thought.

13 going on 30

Well to begin with I think I should point out that it wasn't till I was 14 did I stop caring or should I say cared less about whether or not I had friends. I took to the library and became engrossed in books

and as time went by I cared even less.  But this is not to say life became easier just because I got older, if anything in many ways my life became far more complicated, far more stressful and the fears I had as a child (though they seemed overwhelming at the time) were nothing in comparison to the fears I have now as an adult.

Physically - less clumsy as an adult then I was as a child, but I have new issues to deal with that I never had to worry about before. Sometimes I have really 'thick days' whereby I knock into anyone and everything and for whatever reason it lasts a whole day. Usually made worse by mother nature, being in relapse and stress.

Intellectually- it took me a while to realise that my Dyspraxia is my responsibility, its not just down to having 25% extra time in exams and being provided with a laptop for university. It was up to me to develop habits and strategies that would enhance my ability to learn. So I would rewrite notes that I had jotted down neatly, I used to brain storm ideas and put together essay planners which helped me to form structures for what upcoming projects. Record cards, highlighters, sticky notes and Stella Cortrells' 'Study skills handbook' all came into play. There was more pressure on me to learn as an adult. Reflection and applying theory into practice was another aspect I have had to consider. Whereas from the age of 13 and under it was passing SAT'S and doing odd bits of homework. Despite how 'kim jon un' my teacher was, learning and coping with the pressures of study, deadlines and presentations etc became far more challenging as an adult. The group Dyspraxic Adults living in a non Dyspraxic world has also supported my intellectual pursuits. It is a group where by you can ask questions and members put forward practical coping methods. I have asked before now  what pens cause less pain in your fingers and how is the best way to remember theorists for upcoming exams and some of the answers were brilliant. Abbreviations, visualisations and colour coding all proved useful. As adults we have to; budget, organise and manage our time and be flexible. As adults we start to realise that life is not black or white. Nothing is set in stone, however, when we were kids those worries and concerns were on our parents shoulders. But now we are carrying them instead.   

Emotional and Social wellbeing- well as I have mentioned previously once I hit 14 or 15 I took to the library rather then the yard. I no longer had the energy and patience for making so called friends.  By the time I went to college I cared less again and out of the blue I seemed to make the odd friend. This helped me feel a bit better about myself because no one wants to feel completely alone. However, as a 30 year old adult looking back I now see how fickle so called friends can be.

At 22 I cut off from some so called friends because it turned out they were bad news, followed by a 'Fakebook' cleanse. I came to the conclusion more then half of my friends on 'Fakebook' were not actually friends but rather people who wanted to nose. I  don't think I would have had the confidence to remove friends as a younger adult but it had to be done. As my health deteriorated my so called Christian friends no longer had time or energy for me and because I was doing less for and with them I soon became surplus to requirements. It first it hurt like hell, because I was under the illusion that I had made friends for life. But now as a 30 year old adult it bothers me far less, I don't know what it is but as I have got older and my health as got worse, I have found that just getting through the day is a challenge in itself, without the drama of ' oh so and so doesn't talk to me'!

In 2012, I found out about a Dyspraxia support group in Manchester. This lovely bunch of  'social misfits' are family as far as I am concerned.  They have been there for me through some of the darkest and lowest periods of my life. They are funny, quirky and real and I love them. If any of my fellow Dyspraxics need support and long for sincere friendships; I would highly recommend the Manchester Dyspraxic Adults support group.  It takes place the first Saturday of the month and starts at 2pm. Don't worry, if you are anything like me and can get lost easily a group of us tend to meet up at the train station. Feel free to ask.  We are on Facebook!

Another challenge I have had to deal with as an adult; was that of relationships with the opposite gender. Have only had 2 boyfriends. Both relationships had good and bad aspects. It was far more challenging dealing with these relationships  then it was worrying about having friends to hang out with on the yard.

Conclusion

Hopefully, you can see from this discussion that during all stages of human growth and development people have success and struggles. Also, remember we are all so very different as we face circumstances beyond our control. We don't decide where we are born or who our family is. Our backgrounds, cultures and beliefs are uniquely ours. All factors influence who we are and what we do.  If I had to decide which period of my life was more challenging I would have to say adulthood.

More responsibilities and expectations, as well more meaningful opportunities. We can either tackle adulthood with a childlike mind-set or we could tackle it as a responsible, Dyspraxic Adult.
The choice is ours!